love

Making private parts not so private

“Over the years I have had strong feelings of love and even stronger feelings of hatred for my womanly parts.

With my HPV status, my too many LEEP procedures to count, and my high risk pregnancy with my son, all the hell I went through during the labor and delivery and the surgeries that followed, more LEEP procedures and a deep rooted feeling I would eventually develop enough high grade dysplasia that a hysterectomy would be necessary, I have always thought one thing about my vagina, that it was broken.

Broken like a toy my son would play with. It still worked and functioned close to the way it was intended to, but it was definitely altered, and I want to write about it.

I want to share all of my sadness and my joy. I want to share my anger and my eventual acceptance with other women. I want to get down to the dirty details. To show an un-cut, honest look at my vagina. To invite women into the Gynecologist office, into the labor and delivery room, into my home, my bedroom, and my bathroom. I want them to know the deep dark secrets of my sex life, and stare into the one thing that haunted my relationship with my husband and myself, my vagina.

The reason I want to make my private parts not so “private” was so women would not be alone. So they can have a friend who understand what they go through. I want to be by their side. I want to be the friend that I so badly needed myself.”

Mary Catherine

Mary is the author of http://abrokenvagina.com/ a blog about her experiences centred around her vagina which she felt compelled to share after a particulary difficult delivery of her son.

Summer Confest notebook 2012-13

101 Vagina messages from notebook in the Chai tent at summer Confest 2012-13

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Dear Me,

Please don’t abandon me when you’re having sex and don’t put pressure on me with your expectations around orgasms.

Just let me enjoy the moment
and who I’m with.

Love,
Your Vagina

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I slowly descended through mother earth’s vagina & was reborn :)

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My Yoni is Yoniliciously full of unconditional love to Nathan xo

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Dear Vagina,

We started off a little rocky, I wanted so bad for you to be perfect and the knowledge of how to wield you. As I grew older I grew into you and we became friends. I stopped putting pressure on you, and you began to work with me. We became one, now you share my heart and soul, and for any imperfections or momentary lapsed of cooperation I wouldn’t change you for the world. Let us go forth, to love and light, to amazing sex and beautiful babies, together.

Love, Mother.

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Dear Vagina and dear Penis,

How are you doing and have you been enjoying yourself? I’ve been thinking that maybe you should exercise a little more every now and then because you will create more pleasure.

P.s. I personally think you are mighty fine.

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Dear Vagina,

Like a glowing lotus, you have planted the seed for my inner goddess. You bring sensitivity, nurturing, strength and empowerment.

As I let go to the full exploration of you and my soul, I find peace.

Thank you for showing the divine light in me, opening me up to the possibilities of connection with the Earth, my feminine energy and being open to receiving/honouring the masculine.

Peace and honour and truth.

Love,
Alice

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Dear Vagina,

I love you. I hate you.

I love the pleasure, the eruption and how you can bring me closer to nirvana.

I hate you for the spot of bother you can put me through by leading me astray. I think through you and not through my brain. It gets me in trouble sometimes.

I hope that with patience and time I can learn to only love you and love myself.

Be true to yourself.

Much love,
Jess. xoxo

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Top 10 Tips For Your Vagina

Top 10 Tips For Your Vagina

By Jacqueline Hellyer – www.jacquelinehellyer.com

A friend asked me recently what my top 10 tips for a vagina would be. Good question, I thought. So many women feel disconnected from their genitals, don’t have a good feeling about them. We don’t even have a decent word for them, often using the word “vagina” to apply to the whole genital area. So here I use the word ‘vagina’ to apply to just the vagina, and as to the whole of the genitals..? Well, read on!

  1. Honour It. The female genitals are the source of life. Other than a small input by the man at the start, the whole process of creating life takes place in the female genitals. That would have to be the most awesome thing in the entire universe!
  1. Name It. For such an awesome part of the body, it’s incredible that we don’t have a decent name, other than ‘genitals’. Even in casual talk there are not a lot of strong gorgeous names. We often refer to our ‘bits’, ‘down there’, ‘private parts’ or ‘nether regions’. It’s difficult to relate to an area of your body that you can’t even name! So give it a name: it’s my fanny or my quim, my yoni, qualia, bajingo, honey-pot, cinnebar crevasse….Even my cunt, because originally the meaning of the word cunt was “to beguile a man with one’s feminine charms”, which is rather a wonderful concept.
  1. Understand It. I think one of the reasons women don’t feel so good about their quim/farfalla/bajingo is because they don’t know how incredible it is. Women are built for extreme sexual pleasure! The anatomy, the physiology, the energetics. Once you understand that, and realise what you’re sexual potential is, then wow, you’re going to love it. Do you know how big your clitoris is? Most of it is on the inside! Do you know how much engorging material there is down there? How orgasms work? How you can go beyond normal orgasm to an orgasmic state? All thanks to your amazing bajingo.
  1. Incorporate It. It’s part of your body, so feel it as part of your body. Close your eyes and and go over every part of it in your mind, both the inside and the outside. Explore it with your hands and fingers. Take a good look at it in the mirror. When you can recline in front of a mirror with legs wide apart and look and say to yourself “Mmm, that is gorgeous!”, then you’ll know it’s part of you.
  1. Pamper It. Our bodies love and deserve to be pampered. It’s so good for the soul. Your honey-pot is part of your body and deserves that pampering too. So if you’re in a hot bath, part your legs and allow the warmth to wash over it. If you’re in the ocean, part your legs and allow the salty sting of the water to caress it. When you apply creams to you body, slather yourself all over (no creams or oils on the inside though). When making love with your partner, request/invite/allow it to be touched/massaged/embraced.
  1. Pleasure It. Our genitals are made for pleasure. The clitoris has no purpose at all, other than to provide exquisite pleasure. The mass of nerves, engorging material, lubricating and wetting functions, all conspire to show that our fannys are meant to be used for pleasure. So do so. With one another or on your own. Particularly on your own. The womanly art of self-pleasuring is so important to self-loving and self-honouring. See my video on self pleasuring if you need advice on how to do this (www.jacquelinehellyer.com/info_videos.htm).
  1. Listen to It. This is particularly in relation to having sex. One of the biggest problems I’ve noticed with people’s sex lives is that they move too fast. You have to listen to your body and in particular to your quim to know when you’re ready to move on. So you don’t start to kiss until your mouth is drawn to your partner’s. You don’t allow your breasts to be touched until you feel them lifting and moving towards your partner, wanting to be touched. You don’t allow your qualia to be touched until you feel your hips raising and your legs opening. And you don’t allow your partner to enter you until you feel your cinnebar crevasse yearning for his jade stalk, your yoni invites in his lingam, your cunt is dripping with desire for his cock… If you’re not really feeling it, don’t go there.

Now some tips on keeping it in good shape:

  1. Squeeze It. There’s a band of muscle that goes from your pubic bone to your tail bone. It’s important to keep it toned as it does some very important things. Firstly, it holds all your internal organs in place. If you don’t keep those muscles toned, your vagina might fall out when you get old. I kid you not, vaginal prolapse can happen to older women. Secondly, the contraction of these muscles is an important part of orgasm. The more toned the muscles, the better the orgasm. So ladies – squeeze! And squeeze some more! Imagine you’re stopping urine from flowing, those are the muscles to use. Squeeze rhythmically, then squeeze and hold a few seconds, then squeeze progressively tighter, keeping your abdominal muscles relaxed.
  1. Rest It. Rest is such an important part of health and well being. It applies to your vagina too. It’s good to give it a rest. Particularly during your period. In many traditional cultures women would take time out during their period to relax and rest, often with other women. This is not as many anthropologists have interpreted it because the women were considered ‘unclean’ at that time, but because it was a sacred time for a woman to go within. We modern women would benefit from doing the same. Take it easy during your period, especially the heavier days. Avoid exerting yourself, be peaceful, and avoid genital stimulation, especially intercourse. Get into the rhythm of your cycle, be aware of the ebbs and flows of your energy and work with those flows, rather than ignoring them or fighting them.
  1. Let it flow. And finally, on the topic of menstruation, let it flow. I do believe modern women try to hide to ignore and hide their cycles excessively. Tampons have their place, but if you let the blood flow, you’ll get more in touch with your body. So rest and let the blood flow during your period, and you’ll find more energy and more intuitive flow in the rest of your life.

To get more in touch with your feminine sexuality, attend one of my Luscious Woman workshops: www.jacquelinehellyer.com/luscious-woman

Love,
Jacqueline

50% ! Half way ! Loving the vagina love :)

Dear Supporters of 101 Vagina :)

Wow ! Half way !

I’m almost a little sad that it’s going so quick because I’m loving every aspect and every moment of this project. Loving all the amazing support from all the amazing women involved.

Loving talking about vaginas in public places, since that is almost all people seem to talk to me about these days :) And loving reports of the conversations the project is triggering in the wider community.

Loving the heartfelt sharing of intimate vagina stories, whether privately in conversation or publicly through the blog. Loving that they are touching and moving people.

In these regards the project is already fulfilling it’s purpose, long before the book is finished, let alone published. Slowly lifting the taboo and spreading vagina love as far and wide as possible!

The lack of love that vaginas receive (in mainstream society) has become so ingrained, so endemic, that people don’t even seem to notice, because nobody wants to look at the issue. This is what a taboo is. It’s just become unquestioned “reality”. So much so that many people take offence and/or feel confronted by this most sacred part of human experience. Taboos lead to distortion and exploitation.

This is the veil that the project seeks to lift, and by all accounts is already lifting.

And it’s your love that’s lifting it ! So, keep pumping out the love :)

One way you can do that is to get a vagina story to me for the blog. I know there are a few of you out there who have written some things and are sitting on them ;)

Send it in, get it out there and share the love !

Have a look here for some inspiration:http://www.101vagina.com/blog/

Thank you, thank you, thank you :)

Love
Philip
xx

“Mother Earth and All Her Glory”

“As many women, I’m sure.. When the vagina is mentioned I go to a place of personal embarrassment and insecurity.

I feel I need to share this with you all.. not just to tell a story but to free myself from it. I hate..Capital HATE my vagina. But her and I we have an agreement….
When I was a young girl I was sexually abused on a number of occasions by a female babysitter. I do not share this to shock or upset anyone but simply to help one understand where my vaginal hatred comes from. From this sad experience I began to see my self as dirty and unclean.

Later when I started developing and my labia grew, I felt disgusted with these large shrivelled prune like flaps and how inconveniently uncomfortable they were. In my mind I associated them with being dirty. That’s all it looked like to me… An unclean mess.

Once I began my teen years, the early sexual encounters where less than encouraging.

I realize now it was mainly inexperience that caused the lewd and less than flattering remarks. But try being a teenage girl with all the other insecurities to boot and being told you taste weird.

So anyway the first brilliant encounter came from the least expected of sources and accounts for a rather intense fetish I have these days..A Complete NERD.

He played warhammer and got good grades, wrote poetry ,and hung out with a bunch of other sniggering nerds.. But my GOD… Get this boy alone in the bedroom and you’ve never met someone so keen to please, learn and worship a woman.

So from then on there was only one other insult to my downstairs and that was another instance of abuse. But the damage was already done.. It would take countless amounts of praise and tender love from quite a few broken hearts to even get the hate under control.

Now to present day and I have had another hit to my self esteem. I’m 27 yrs old and have recently under gone a double mastectomy. That’s right the one part of my body I was please with has been lopped off due to a very very early cancer scare.. I took no chances. But my self esteem is still wallowing down the bottom of the well somewhere.

So to present day…. I was just sitting in the bath tub trying to think of what I’d say. What I could tell people that would be inspiring as that’s what people want to hear right.

Well thinking this I began to think over the good, the wonderful and the down right amazing things about my vagina.

And you know what??? There’s plenty to tell you. I am a lucky owner of a vagina capable of multiple earth shaking orgasms. I am the owner of what will hopefully bring a new life into this world. I am the owner of a beautiful pink clam, a soft warm palace, a pussy, a pleasure temple. I have not been told in the past 10 years of my life anything bad about her. She is always complimented on how good she tastes and feels. I was so focused on the negative and afraid of what to tell people that I hadn’t thought of all the good I’ve been told and realized now ..that the bad was only my perception..

So this is what I wanted to share.. Only us as women have the power to make ourselves feel good or bad about our vagina. But next time you feel bad…Remember men don’t give birth to new life.. Vaginas are Mother Earth and All her glory…(as annoying as periods may be !)”

Lucita

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